Leah Clearwater: From Flesh to Fur
by Cam in the Sky With Diamonds
Summary: This is Leah's story. This is all the things that you already know, and many that you never even dreamed about.
1. Chapter 1: Nothing

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I'm writing except for the plot and any miscellaneous characters I may include.**

**A/N: Yay another story! Don't worry, the other one isn't going anywhere I'm just having a little bit of a brain fart, and this jumped into my head and I didn't want to lose the idea. Inspired by Nothing - The Script**

**Enjoy**

_I can change her mind turn it all around_

_And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words_

_And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred_

_Dialed her number and confessed to her_

_I'm still in love but all I heard _

_Was nothing_

_She said nothing._

Nothing- The Script

* * *

><p><em>A few drinks will get your mind off of him. <em>They said that to me. Who's they? Who's him?

_Sam_

Oh yeah, that bastard.

Boy, did I miss him.

My feet were cold. I looked down, I'm not wearing any shoes. Oh well… Wait. I'm outside, where are my shoes? And where was I, anyway? Sure as hell not where I remember being last. How did I get here? Everything's spinning…

I don't have my cell phone, how am I supposed to call my friends and tell them to pick me up? I don't even know how to get home. Everything's blurry, everything's spinning. I'm going to pass out.

Or throw up. Oh yeah, that's it.

Nachos… I remember eating a whole plate of them. Surprisingly good with a bottle of Grey Goose. But not so good to look at, nasty. I hate throwing up.

I should go see Sam. I'm going to go to Sam's, he'll help me get home.

Now where is Sam's house again?

Left, right, back, front, around and around. Oh right, I forgot. I'm lost.

Damn. There's tree branches in my hair. Why's it so cold? I don't have a coat, my dress is too short.

I want to see Sam. "Sam!" I called out. "Sam where's your house from here?" No one answered, absolute silence. So I made a guess, and I went straight.

Tree, tree and more tree. All I see is trees. Why are these branches so sharp? Why did my friends leave me all alone? I hate them all. Left me all alone to die. Just like Sam. Just like everyone. I hate everyone. I wish I had more vodka. I tripped. "Ow. Thatreallyhurts." I spoke to myself but they just sounded like a bunch of garble.

Just when I thought I was getting nowhere, I finally reached a clearing. And right in front of me, was the little white house with the rickety front door.

Now I remember. I was coming here in the first place. I had something to say but my brain is muddled, so fuzzy, can't find the words.

I stumbled and banged my way up the steps to pound on the front door. "Sam!" I cried. "Sam, Sam open the door please. I'm so lost."

It really was cold. Another shot of vodka might warm me up. I couldn't feel my toes. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't home. I don't remember where I live…

"Leah…? Is that you?" I heard him call from the other side of the door. God, his voice made me quiver. I couldn't feel my legs another either, especially as the door swung open and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I missed laying on that bare chest…

I looked into his eyes, dumbfounded and said the first thing my mind could make out. "I lost my shoes."

He finally looked me up and down and sighed, grabbing my arm. "Get inside Leah, you're wearing almost nothing. Good grief, you're freezing!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing out dressed like this at two in the morning? Is that alcohol I can smell on your breath?"

Shamefully, slurred, I lied. "I only had like… f-fi-fior-a few."

He shook his head and mumbled something, grabbing a thick blanket from the closet in the hall and wrapping me up in it. I closed my eyes at the warmth and he led me over to the couch. "Give me your cell, Leah. Let me call someone to pick you up."

"I lost it."

"Do you know where your friends are?"

"No." I mumbled. "I lost them too."

He ran two meaty hands over his thick, hairless skull. I frowned, there used to be a bush of black hair there. He looked at me with eyes too serious for Sam, too old for him, and my heart beat faster. "How did you end up here, Lee?"

"I was thinking about you. Or, trying not to. That's what the shots were for. But then I had to tell you something, but I forgot somewhere along the way. I forgot a lot of things." _But not the fact that I'm so in love with you._

"I'm going to call your mom." Sam said. "Stay right there."

I didn't want to go home, I couldn't go home like this. "Don't let her see me like this!" I cried. "I can't go home, Sam. Let me stay here tonight."

He looked wary, hesitant. Why? "Fine."

"I love you." That's what I wanted to say! Damn, I should of approached it better. "I tried to drink, forget, but I didn't. It led me here, I'm still in love and I know you know but I thought that if I said it again, after you had time to think, you'd finally hear it. Finally believe it, and take me back. I have to confess, and being drunk makes me say things I really don't want to, but I cant help it. I'm still in love. There's no one else for me, Sam. I'm still in love." It all poured out before my brain could catch up with my mouth and scream at it to shut up, so I waited quietly for his response.

But all I heard was nothing.

He said nothing.

I started crying, I couldn't help it. I'm never drinking again, it turns me into a blubbering, bigmouthed mess. "Sam kiss me. Kiss me and then tell me it's not me that you love anymore. Tell me that there's no feeling, no spark. Tell me I'm not the one anymore, and I'll go home right now and leave you alone forever. Leave you alone to be happy with Emily." I shuddered at the name of my backstabbing cousin. "Please Sam, just one kiss." By this time, I was standing right in front of him, talking. "Please."

I don't know what I expect, for him to give me a lecture and reject me, turn me around and march me right back to the couch. But instead he inched closer towards me and held my face in his burning hands, and our lips locked together. My stomach exploded with heat, something I thought I'd never feel again. I wasn't drunk anymore, I was on a new high.

He pulled away and his lips opened and closed, and I could see the words forming behind his lips. _There's no spark anymore_. I waited for those words, but they never came. Instead he closed his eyes and a tear slipped out from underneath one. I kissed him again. "I love you, Sam. You're still the only one for me." I whispered. "Be _my _Sam again, make love to me again."

I don't know why, but he had no resolve. He led me into the bedroom we had slept in so many times, and where he probably lays with Emily when she comes over and where he probably kisses her all over and loves her like he doesn't love me anymore.

He tossed me on the bed roughly, and we both tore off our clothes. The sex was different, unlike anything we had ever done before, rough and animalistic. The whole time he was inside me, thrusting and groaning, he didn't say a word, while the whole time I called out, "Sam, I love you." But at the end, near his finish, he shuddered out one name.

"Lee-lee." He gasped. And for that moment, when he held onto me tightly, I was back to the days where he was still Sam, months ago.

My eyes heavy, my head against the pillow, I tried to reach out to him and hold him but I was so weak, so tired. I shut my eyes and curled up under his blankets. It smelt like him, the bed was so familiar. It felt like home.

"Don't leave me again." I mumbled. Not again, he just couldn't.

* * *

><p>I woke up from a dead sleep, without a stir, startled and uneasy. I was still at Sam's, in Sam's bed, but I noticed with disappointment that his side of the bed was un-slept in. <em>Probably too much on his mind to sleep<em>.

I got up and went into the kitchen in only my underwear and bra, to look for him, but he was gone. There was a note on the table, next to a bottle of water and Asprin.

_Leah;_

_I can't even begin to fathom how much you must hate me after I took advantage of you last night. I'm going through hell myself. I can't believe that I let this happen, the guilt is eating me up inside and I wish I could take it all back. I'm sorry, but I can't see you anymore. _

_You need to let me go. _

_Don't worry about locking the door on your way out._

_Goodbye,_

_Sam._

My heart started to hurt and the words blurred behind my tears. I tore up the letter, tried to forget it was ever there but the words just kept repeating in my head over and over again. He used me. I couldn't wrap my head over the fact that he was gone forever, it was like the first time three months ago, all over again. All my hopes were gone. I didn't know what to do.

And then the phone rang,. I didn't think twice about it, so used to Sam allowing me to pick up the phone when he wasn't here, so I cut the ringer short. "Sam's place."

Silence on the other end. "Leah?" It was Emily. The sound of her voice made me boil with anger. "Where's Sam?"

Bitterly, I responded, "He's in the shower. I'll have him call you when he gets out." Then I hung up, and used a pad of paper to leave him his own little note.

_Emily called. I told her you'd call her back._

I felt sweet, sweet satisfaction. And in spite of myself, after putting my dress back on, I slid off my panties and tucked them underneath Sam's pillow. Smiling, I walked out of the house, my broken heart momentarily forgotten.

Wow, I was a bitch.

* * *

><p>I got home, looking like I just took the walk of shame, to my parents sitting in the living room, staring at the door. I sighed. "Hey." I tried my best to walk right past them and to my room and I made it to the bottom of the stairs before my father called me back in.<p>

"Leah, come here. We want to talk to you." He said sternly. So I obeyed, sitting in the armchair across from them. "I thought you were going out with the girls last night."

I nodded. "I did go out with them."

"So why is that when you didn't come home last night, your friends had no idea where you were or what happened to you. Said you had drank too much and ran off. Not to mention that you're drinking underage, but what were you thinking going off alone at night? Where have you been?"

At first, I was going to lie. Tell them I had stayed somewhere else, but then I realized I wasn't ashamed. I was proud. "I was at Sam's."

I saw a slight smirk on my mom's face, she was the same when it came to attitude, a little sneaky and very temperamental. I could tell she was a little proud of me, but my dad looked furious. "What were you doing at Sam's all night?"

I smiled. "We slept together."

"Don't you lie to me young lady!" He roared. "Spreading filthy rumours like that to hurt Emily because she took him away from you! You should be ashamed! There's no way Sam would do that to Emily."

I laughed bitterly, the hurt at my own father's preference for Emily. "Funny, because we did sleep together. And guess what? We didn't use protection!" Then I ran out of the room and upstairs, slamming the door.

"Why is everyone yelling?" My brother, Seth, mumbled from his bedroom.

Three weeks later, my period was late.

**A/N: I know it's short but it's just the beginning, so let me know what you guys think!**


	2. Chapter : The One That Got Away

**A/N: Hi guys, next chapter awaits! So I'll skip all the boring crap and just move on!**

_In another life_

_I would be your girl_

_We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world_

_In another life_

_I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_The one that got away_

The One That Got Away- Katy Perry

"Leah, sit up and stop slouching. I don't know what is wrong with you today!" My mother scolded me, but her words went through my ears. I had been like this for almost a week, catatonic, dumbfounded. I couldn't be pregnant… Could I? I don't know, do I dare get a pregnancy test? Are they even reliable? Should I go to the doctors? In Forks, definitely, too many familiar faces here.

I pushed my food around with my fork as my disgusting pig of a brother shovelled in food by the mouthful. Some of it had splashed onto my sleeve. We were related… What happens if my son turns out like that?

"Excuse me." I said hastily, pushing myself away from the table and running upstairs.

My father called after me. "Leah you didn't even touch your food, you are not excused!"

"Oh shove it up your ass!" I yelled back. "Or better yet why don't you invite Emily over and feed it to her?" Silence. Perfect.

I threw on my boots over my jeans and tied up my long hair, shoving it under a knit hat and throwing on a jacket. I threw my window open and climbed gently over the ledge, as I had so many times sneaking out to see Sam back during our early years, crossed over to the branch of our giant tree and shimmied down it with expertise. Then I called an old friend. "I need a favour."

And then I was off to Forks hospital. Technically La Push didn't even have a hospital, there was a "medicine man" and that's who we went to, because of these silly superstitions about the Cullens. But this was an emergency, and it's not like I believed those legends anyway. I just hope that it wouldn't take too long, my parents do have a tendency of overreacting when I'm "missing."

I sat down in the waiting room as the bitchy nurse at the counter told me that Dr. Cullen had left the hospital, and that a doctor would be with me when they were available. Apparently she didn't know how bitchy I could be.

Tap, tap, tap. went my feet on the hard floor of the hospital. How long had I been here for?

Oh my God.

Just when I was about to get up and leave, the exam room door opened and Dr. Gerandy walked out, along with two boys from the Rez. I recognized one of them immediately, the son of my father's good friend Billy Black. Jacob or something, a freshman at my school. The other one had a name I couldn't remember, all I know is that he was a bastard.

The doctor was talking to him. "Now, Jake, next time you want to jump off the top off a cliff, please try not to break your arm again. Or just don't do it. Leah Clearwater? Come on in."

Almost on cue, the two boys turned and looked at me with their mouths open, gaping. I grabbed my bag and walked past them. The nameless one was smart and snapped his mouth closed, turning away. Jacob blushed. "Hi Leah." He mumbled.

There was just something so dorky about that face that I just couldn't act like myself, like a total bitch. So I spoke back. "Hey."

As I was walking into the examination room, I could hear the other one whispering excitedly. "Dude, Leah Clearwater totally just spoke to you!"

I could tell Jacob was blushing. "Shut up Embry."

I almost laughed out loud for the first time in a while. No wonder I couldn't remember the kid's name. I thought my name was bad. My father wanted to name me after Princess Leia, but thankfully for me, my mother refused and they came up with this name as a compromise. Better than the latter.

I did end up snorting to myself and the doctor gave me a chuckle, which stopped my amusement in my tracks and reminded me why I was here. "Dr. Gerandy…"

"You want a pregnancy test." He said right off the bat, no question in his voice or anything. It was just a cold, hard fact. "You're from the Rez, and you don't seem to be deathly injured or anything like that, so my assumption for you coming here would be because you don't want to be recognized. Am I correct?"

I nodded, too embarrassed to speak. "It was a dumb idea anyway, I'm probably just over imagining things. I should go."

He reached out and put a hand on my arm. "Leah," his voice was kind and gentle. "I think you should do the test."

* * *

><p>I don't know what time is it. I don't have a watch and there's no clock. It was dark and cold, but I couldn't get up. I couldn't go home.<p>

Sam was getting a hell of a lot better at ruining my life. I gave him my love, my body, my everything. When he decided that there were more important things than going to university, when he dropped out of the school that we had both decided to go to, I followed him. I stayed here, so that I could be with him. He left me. Crushed my heart.

And now I'm having his baby.

I wrapped my arms around myself, I stared out off the top of the cliff and I could feel it behind my eyes, the pressure in my head.

But I didn't do it, I didn't cry. I stayed there all night, lost in my thoughts and my life.

I didn't go home until early morning, not by choice, but by the fact that I could hear Sam and Emily talking and laughing down the beach. I just wanted to leave after that. I tried to be quick, quiet, but they both noticed me. "Leah! Is that you! Sam, it's Leah! She's not missing after all!" Emily called out. And then dear God, the bitch ran at me and hugged me.

I tensed up immediately. "Get off of me."

I could see the hurt in her eyes, I could feel the hurt, it was radiating all around her, but she blinked and let it pass. "Sue has been calling me all night, crying. Apparently this is the second time you've wandered off in the last couple of days…" I shot Sam a glance but he avoided my eyes and I gave myself a wry smile. There's no way that he told her the truth. And then Emily surprised me. "Leah, can I talk to you alone? Sam, privacy for one quick second please."

He obeyed immediately. I stared at her blankly, waiting for her to speak. "Leah. I want you to know that I forgive you for sleeping with Sam."

He told her. He actually told her.

I didn't give her any sign that I was surprised, I just kept staring at her. Was this all she had to tell me? Did she expect me to say something? So I turned to leave, when she grabbed my arm. "I think it's time you forgave me too."

I stopped in my tracks. What the fuck? "Let my arm go, or you'll regret it." I snarled. She didn't let go, and I would have broken her arm if Sam hadn't restrained me. Holy shit, the bastard has his arms around me. I struggled, but it was like being encased in cement. "Get off of me you ass!" I remember screaming a bunch of curse words like a sailor.

"You're not going anywhere until you listen to what Emily has to say." His voice was firm. I was pissed.

Emily was rambling on. The only words I heard were forgiveness, and time and understanding and all this crap spouted out of her mouth. "Fine, you know what? I forgive you. Forgiveness granted." I managed to yank myself out of his grip. "Hope you're very happy together. Now bye."

"Leah, wait!" Emily called.

I turned around. "What! What more could you possible have to say to me? I listened to what you said, I forgave you okay? You stole my boyfriend, you took everything! Do you want my family too! Fine, take them! I am helpless against you!"

Tears sprung into Emily's eyes, but Sam put his arm around her. "Let her go, Emily. It's for the best."

"Yeah for the best, just leave Leah in the dust like you always do! Screw you Sam, screw you and just screw everything!" I ran the whole way home.

"My baby!" My mom exclaimed when I walked in the door. My dad and Seth were beside her, looking relieved.

"Just leave me alone, all of you."

I slammed my door shut and fell to my knees.

_I love you, Leah. Don't ever leave me, please don't leave me. I need you._

_I'll never leave you, Sam. I promise._

"AGH!" I screamed, picking up my alarm clock and hurling it at my mirror, which smashed into a thousand tiny pieces. What's another seven years of bad luck anyway?

I put my hands around my stomach. Maybe there's hope… I don't have the best motherly instincts but I will try damn hard to be the best one I can.

I could have gotten an abortion, but I didn't. To me, that means something.

I'm going to be a mother. To Sam's baby. I guess that's what I've always dreamed of… Except, he was there with me. I wonder what people are going to say when they find out…

No, I'm not going to tell them. They don't need to know who the father is. For all I care to tell them, I'll just be Virgin fucking Mary.

Innocent and pure… yeah, that's definitely me.

Guess I should clean up this mess. Unfortunately, I meant the glass. There's no fixing my life.

I need to get out of La Push.

I went downstairs to my mother, who was sitting at the kitchen table the next morning, and sat down across from her. "I'm reapplying for university in the fall."

"Oh honey, that's great news!" She exclaimed, grabbing my hands from across the table.

"I think that if I get away for a long, long time, things will get better."

A long pause. "Is that what you really think?"

"No. But if I don't think that, then I'm going to have to keep thinking that life is going to suck forever and I might go crazier than I am now." Another pause, this time by me. "Mom, I need to tell you something."

I could trust her, right? She's my mother…

She smiled. "You can tell me anything."

Oh, mom… I wanted to cry but it was like I had forgotten how. My eyes were dry, nothing came out. I wiped my face clear of my emotions, it was the same stony face that I had been using for the past year. "Mom…I'm going to have a baby."

She broke her favourite wine glass at that very second, because it slipped out of her hands.

"Please don't yell, please don't raise your voice… just try to understand what I'm saying." I said calmly.

"Well from my understanding you are having a baby, right? With Sam. Or is it another guy? Is Sam the only one you've ever been with?" I nodded. She sighed and pulled a hand over her face. "Well, this is going to cause a stir on the Rez."

"I don't want anyone to know. At least until it becomes super obvious and I cant hide it. And under absolutely _no_ circumstances, is Sam the father. It was a one night stand that I don't remember, and that's it. Are we clear Mom?"

She blinked. "But what about after the baby is born? If we cant tell anyone about the pregnancy, how will we be able to set up adoption and everything?"

"I'm keeping the baby." I told her. "I'm hoping that I'll be out of town before the birth. Everything is going to be fine, Mom."

"You are a child yourself.."

"I'm almost nineteen. That's not a child.."

"Leah…"

"Mom please. This is want I want. I can do this. It'll be a whole new life for me, a new start."

She looked so confused, so sad and yet… "I wont question your choices."

"Don't tell Dad."

A long, heavy pause. "I won't." She got up to get a broom to throw away the broken glass. "What about prenatal care, Leah? If you don't want anyone on the Reservation to know…"

"I'm seeing Doctor Gerandy, in Forks."

"Oh good! I'm glad that Cullen left town, so you didn't get stuck with him."

I moaned. "Not you too! Mom, these are legends!"

"Leah. These are _our_ legends. Who am I to this tribe if I don't believe in our own past? I have to be a believer, I just have to."

My mom's words made perfect sense. "I would never disrespect you behind your back."

"I believe you, my _luna._" She kissed me on the head. "Everything will be just fine."

And despite my best efforts, I couldn't believe her.


	3. Chapter 3: Never Forget You

**A/N: Well I was in class and I had an idea for the next chapter, so it looks like I'm updating after all! Yay! **

**I don't own Twilight or Never Forget You.**

_Take me to that old familiar place_

_Take me to memories we won't erase_

_Take me to all that we had_

_Good and the bad_

_I'll never forget you, I'll never let you go_

_I'll never forget you,_

_I'll always remember, I hope you know._

Never Forget You - Lupe Fiasco (Chorus sung by John Legend)

_3 months later_

Things were getting hard for me. I thought that at the three month mark, I would still be able to get along with my pregnancy hidden under shirts that were a little too big for me, but the little bump protruding from my stomach in a distinct and round fashion tells me otherwise.

The baby was growing like a little weed, making me sick every time I tried to eat. Dad was suspicious, but I played it off as a reoccurring case of the flu, mostly staying huddled in bed. This was fine with me, because I would rather not have to go out and see Sam and Emily everywhere I go.

The way Sam looks at me… It's like he knows. But my mom swore on her life that she would tell no one. So why? Why does it feel like all my secrets are leaking out right in front of me when I see him? I brushed my hand over my belly. I hate Sam, but I love what he helped me create. My little angel, my baby. This baby is my life, I promise to move her out of the place and protect her. From jerks like Sam forever.

* * *

><p><em>This is ridiculous, <em>I thought to myself as I laid in bed again, shivering under the sheets but burning up all over for the third day in a row. This was definitely not a pregnancy thing, it couldn't be. This had to be the flu, I had to have caught it from someone.

I cringed as I heard Seth running to the bathroom to throw up. Yup, I gave it to my little brother, it has to be the flu, or something contagious.

Poor kid. My body has been aching for almost a week straight. I couldn't keep food down at all, my poor little baby was probably starving. I could barely talk, and although Mom was trying to care for me as much as she could, my dad was politely concerned. But heaven forbid, Seth mentions he has a headache and he's on his case like a hawk.

But my dad has always been strange like that to Seth. I don't want to think about this anymore anyways, my head hurts.

Trying to get some fresh air, I opened up my window to breathe and spotted a petite little figure, pale and skinny, wandering down towards the cliffs, which were in view from my window. I recognized her right away, Bella Swan, the talk of Forks and even the Rez ever since she started dating the ever "popular" Edward Cullen. I know that ever since he left with his family, she had been hanging all over Jacob Black, even after the kid started shooting up steroids with Sam and his muscle crew, Paul, Jared and Embry.

Bet she was sleeping with them. She seems like a slut. But who am I really to talk? Pregnant with her ex's baby, hah.

I was curious though, why she was here alone and where she was going. So against my best judgement, I followed her, barefoot down the sand, keeping my distance.

Holy shit, she's standing at the edge of the cliff. The bitch is crazy!

Without thinking, I ran after her, and I could hear Seth behind me, asking me what I was doing, but I kept running even though it burned my sore muscles.

I almost ran directly into Jacob, who didn't even seem to acknowledge that I was there as he bolted past me, towards the edge, where Bella had already jumped. I blinked, closing my eyes for a split second.

And in front of me, now flying over the cliff, was a massive wolf.

I screamed, I couldn't think, couldn't comprehend. The wolf ate Jacob? No…

He was the wolf.

The legends are real?

"Leah." Someone was talking to me. "Don't panic, everything is okay. You need to sit down and relax, all the stress is bad for the baby." Someone was talking to me. Sam was talking to me. How does he know?

I spoke out loud. "How do you know?" It came out with less intensity than I had hoped.

"I can hear the heartbeat." He said and I couldn't believe anything he was saying because there was no way that he could hear the heartbeat. Unless…

"You're not human." I spit out.

Sam knelt towards me. "Leah, I'm human. Just, not all the time. It happened to me a long time ago, when we were still together. I changed, with no information about it at all. I was just alone."

"You came back to me." I whispered. "You never let me in. You never told me, you never asked for help. I could have helped you. You chose to be alone! You never told me!" I exploded. "You lying bastard!" I was furious, flying off the handle, shaking uncontrollably with rage.

"What did you do to her!" I heard Seth yelling. "What did you do! I'm getting my dad!" He ran off. Or I couldn't be sure, because my eyes were blind with rage. I could hear Jacob, yelling for Sam to help him and Seth was running back, with my father in tow, both of them yelling my name.

It hurt my brain. Everything hurt. Make it stop, make it stop. "Make it stop!" I moaned aloud. I can't breathe, I'm suffocating. Help me.

Too much pressure, all over. Limbs crushing, limbs twisting and cracking. I can't speak, or scream, my throat is raw.

I want to scream, I have to scream. It's in my throat. I open my mouth to scream and a snarl is released. My legs and arms twist inside, and I'm growing claws right in front of my eyes. Red stained my vision, blurry on the edges, but so clear in the middle.

My brain was confused. I couldn't think straight, grasp a concept of anything that was going on. I couldn't focus on one thing. I saw my dad collapse. Retreat. I saw Sam running. Retreat. I hear so many voices right now, in my head, in my ears. I see Seth explode. Retreat.

I mostly see blood. Blood everywhere. I can smell it, it's sour. So much blood, matted to the fur on my paws and soiling the ground below me. My blood. I can feel it running.

_Not my baby._ That is the other thing my brain could repeat before I couldn't hold myself up. I fell to my stomach.

My arms were back. I was naked. Covered in blood.

Sam was hovered over my father, whose hand lay close to mine, and I picked it up and squeezed it. No response. His eyes were looking upwards, blank, lifeless.

Sam was crying, the bastard. That was my father. I lost him, I lost two people today.

But I couldn't cry, so I let Sam cry for me. I didn't object to him wrapping me in a jacket. Or picking me up and carrying me. "Everything will be okay, Lee-Lee."

"Go to Hell." I spat at him. Nothing will ever be okay again.

He brought me to his house, silently and gave me to Emily. I tried to listen to what he explained to her, but I only caught a sentence that sounded like, "Bella jumped, redhead in water, ran off to the leeches, Seth and Leah, Harry, heart attack."

So that's how it happened. Doesn't matter how, he's dead. Dead, dead, dead. Just dead. Dead until the word loses it's meaning. Dead.

Broken family.

I'm drowning on the inside, by my grief. Drowning on the outside, in blood.

But I stay silent. Just drowning, gasping for air, crushing as much as I can fit into my lungs. Desperate.

"I'm going to talk to Sue." Sam murmured to Emily. "Jacob will deal with the leeches, this is important. Much more important." And he kissed her, on her frowning lips. "Everything will be okay, don't worry."

She had nothing to worry about, she lost no one. She will go on with her perfect little life where nothing is ever wrong, and have babies. A fairytale, a dream.

The both looked at me. I was talking out loud. Good.

"Take care of her." He said. "I'll be back." And he turned to look at me, right in the eyes, with glassy eyes. Pity filled.

"Don't look at me like that."

He said nothing, just walked away. Just like always. Guess it runs in the family.

I hoped I was talking out loud again.

I took a shower, leaning up against the shower wall, where I imagined Sam and Emily naked, sweaty and fucking their brains out. I held my flat stomach, feeling empty. I didn't move to wash, I just let the water run the blood off of me. Some of it was liquid, and the rest of it was thick, dark clumps that stuck to the bottom of the tub and made the clear water turn red. I stared at them, trying to shape them into a baby.

I have never felt hurt like this before.

The water was never hot against my skin, so it never ran cold. My skin never pruned, so I had no idea how much time had passed since I had gotten in the shower. All I know is that I was still in there when Sam got back.

I got out and slipped on the clothes that were laying on the floor. Yoga pants that barely went to the middle of my calves and one of Sam's shirts, that fit me a lot better than it used to. Now, I really noticed how much I had changed.

My limbs were longer, thicker. I felt heavier as a whole.

"Have a seat, Seth. We will explain everything to you." Sam spoke from the kitchen, and I just wanted to drown out his voice for the rest of my life. The sound of it rang in my ears, making me feel even more empty.

I crept downstairs, to where Sam and Embry were sitting at the table, the back of their heads facing me. My baby brother, looking scared and too big for his age, spotted me and stood up. He ran into my arms and held me close, and I got the feeling that he was afraid to let me go. Like I was going to disappear.

I knew where he was coming from. I felt like I was going to disappear too.

His body was shaking, and I remembered the feeling before I burst into a massive wolf. But I could feel his tears, hear him crying. "Dad…" He moaned. "He's gone."

Gone. Gone, gone, gone. The word echoed. "I know." I said numbly.

"It was a heart attack." Sam informed me as I sat down at the table, ready for my explanation for everything that was happening. I wasn't surprised, Mom was always nagging him to watch his cholesterol. "Everything that was happening, he couldn't handle. His heart gave out before I could help him."

"Where's my mom?" I asked, wondering if she knew.

"With Billy and Charlie Swan." Embry spoke up for the first time. "Charlie's all freaked out because Bella fled town and now this. It's really shaken him up, I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack too."

Seth asked the question nagging at my mind. "What about us? What's happening to us?"

We listened as Sam retold us all the legends that we have known since we were kids, with more intensity, because there was an absolute certainty that they were real now. No more folk stories. "So the Cullens…?" Seth asked.

My first thought was that Seth asked way too many questions.

"Vampires." Sam informed us solemnly.

"But… What about Bella Swan? She's just a girl, Charlie's girl! Can't we do something?" Seth stuttered.

"We have tried many times to warn her, she knows what the Cullens are, and has made her choice. We can't help those who don't want to be helped. There is nothing we can do."

Damn, I shouldn't have wasted my breath running after the vampire lover, I should have let her jump. She's gonna die anyways.

So, this was the "cult" that the whole reservation has been gossiping about. A pack of werewolves. Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Jake and now Seth and I. My head was spinning.

"Leah, I need to talk to you alone." Sam said quietly, leading me upstairs. Emily was nowhere to be seen.

Great, as if I didn't have enough on my mind.

He opened the door to his bedroom and shut it for privacy. He sat down on the bed, I didn't. "I need to tell you more about the legends, parts that I need to tell you in private. Do you know what the Third Wife was to Taha Aki?"

The first answer that popped up in my head was, "She was his third wife, duh you moron." But I kept that thought to myself and settled for shaking my head.

"She was his imprint."

For some reason, I feel like that sentence should have had a big affect on me. But it didn't, I just continued to stare blankly at him. Was I supposed to know what that meant? He kept going. "An imprint is like a soul mate to a werewolf. When they see the person they're meant to be with, it's like everything changes. You change, your priorities change. You are forever attached to them, it's fate." He ended with a slight smile.

I continued to stare blankly.

"When I saw Emily for the first time after I phased into a werewolf, I automatically knew she was my soul mate. I imprinted on her."

I felt sick. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because now you can finally understand, I can finally explain it to you and tell you everything I could never tell you! Fate chose Emily for me, I didn't chose her! I never wanted to break your heart Leah, but I had no choice. And now you can finally understand." As he spoke, his eyes shone brightly with something. Hope. For what? My understanding? My forgiveness?

"The _why_ never mattered to me, Sam. You did it. That's all that matters. Just because you didn't have a choice, doesn't make it right. You crushed me, you will never be able to make that right."

I left Sam's house with more questions, and less answers than I had before I entered.

**A/N:** **Okay so in the previous chapter it says that Carlisle is the Doctor that treated her, but that doesn't fall in with my storyline so I'm going back to change it so if you notice the error, don't worry, I'm correcting it!**


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